Khullam Khulla #1: Don't ask the sexpert, ask your girlfriend

Khullam Khulla #1: Don’t ask the sexpert, ask your girlfriend

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We have the utmost respect for Dr. Mahinder Watsa, the “sexpert.” After all, where else can Indians – young and old alike – turn for advice regarding their desires, fears, and confusion about sex? Nonetheless, we sometimes feel that the Doctor’s answers leave something (*coughcough*) to be desired. Here’s our shot at offering some sage and sassy advice on sex, relationships, and everything in between.

If you have questions that you want answered, shoot us an email: hello@badalja.com.

Q: I want to have sex with my girlfriend. May I?

Dr. Watsa: If you and your girlfriend are under 18 years, you are too young for sexual intercourse. Restrain yourselves for some time. You can masturbate to relieve sexual tension.

Aw yeah, this is our favorite kind of question. Because it allows us to say: don’t ask the columnist, ask your girlfriend!

Let’s add some nuance to this: You don’t need permission from some higher authority, whether it be an adult, society, or a famous columnist. But it’s totally necessary that you have the full consent of your girlfriend.

So, the first step is to talk with her, and to listen deeply to her response. How does she feel? Is she worried, scared, nervous? Does she say ‘maybe’ or ‘yes’ in words, but say something else with her body language? If so—don’t push her. And if she’s open to it, go slowly, checking in with her about how she feels, ready to stop when she wants.**

Also, let’s remember the words of a wise man who once defined sex as any act that pleasures your partner. It’s not just about penetration—expand your palette, get creative, think about what she wants. You’ll be surprised by how good it feels, I promise. And in the long run, it’ll make you a better partner—both in bed and out.

** A note of caution: I’m assuming—perhaps erroneously—that you are a guy. Sex can be empowering and enjoyable for both guys and gals, but we have to remember that women face more risks than men when it comes to having sex. Being sexually active can be both empowering and fraught, with consequences ranging from pregnancy to social bullying to anger or ostracization from families. So you—and the both of you together—need to consider those factors before you proceed. And don’t forget: safe sex is the way to go!

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