Khullam Khulla #3: Train It Well, Treat It Well

Khullam Khulla #3: Train It Well, Treat It Well

We have the utmost respect for Dr. Mahinder Watsa, the “sexpert.” After all, where else can Indians—young and old alike—turn for advice regarding their desires, fears, and confusion about sex? Nonetheless, we sometimes feel that the Doctor’s answers leave something to be desired. Here’s our shot at offering some sage and sassy advice on sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Q: I am 21 years old. I am masturbating from last 2 to 3 years regularly. Now it has become my habit and now I masturbate daily. Can it harm my sex life? And can it create any problem in my marriage life? And also can it reduce my sperm count?

Dear Amol — It’s not a problem that you’re masturbating. If anything, it’s problematic you’ve only been doing it since you were 18! It’s perfectly normal for boys (and girls) to discover masturbation even before entering puberty, so stop feeling guilty about pleasing yourself.

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Now, how do you masturbate? It can be problematic with how you get yourself off, in two ways:

First, physically, your wang is a muscle. And how you masturbate affects its performance. The more you clamp down on your dong with a death grip that could strangle a monkey, the more your cock gets used to this type of pleasure. So when you end up in bed with someone who’s not as tight as your clenched fist (newsflash: pretty much all orifices aren’t) then it will take you FOREVER to come and your partner won’t appreciate the dent in their schedule to get you off. So when you do masturbate, keep a loose grip and be sure to take your time, because your partners also won’t appreciate you being inside for 20 seconds before you come.

Which brings me to my second point. If you’re watching porn and expecting your sex partner to behave just like a porn star, then you’re in for disappointment. Porn can be nice, but real life ain’t porn. Porn edits out all the clumsiness that comes with two people trying to get inside each other on top of getting off. It edits out all the communication and talking it takes to hit your partner’s sweet spot to please them. Real sex is messy, but when you’re doing it with someone you love in a consensual setting, it can be much better than the best wank session.

So in short, masturbation won’t harm you. In fact, it might even lower testicular cancer risks! It won’t lower your sperm count, though if you’re jerking it quite a bit, you’ll have less fluid chock-full of your essence. It can affect how well you will eventually get off with someone, so be sure to train and treat your cock well.

Have questions you want answered? Shoot us an email: hello@badalja.com.

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